I believe that all our actions are determined, but feel completely free to do as I choose. I do not believe in anything resembling a god, but would never profess omniscience with regard to such issues. I have faith in nothing, but trust that my family and friends will always be faithful. I feel that religion is among the greatest problems in the world, but also understand that it is perhaps the ultimate solution. I recognize that many people derive their morals from religion, but i insist that religion is not the only fountainhead of morality. I respect the intimate connection between morality and law, but do not believe that either should unquestioningly respect the other. I want to study the law and become a lawyer, but I do not want to study the law just because i want to become a lawyer.
How to start a personal statement : the killer opening - which?
The writer needs to persuade the nyu admissions committee that nyu is the only school for him, and he can do this by interpreting how the schools particular strengths will advance his goals. . Despite these quibbles, though, this is overall a fantastic personal statement. Sample personal Statement 2 - minimalist i am a thinker, but method not one to think out loud. I love myself, but am not in love with the sound of my own voice. I want to be loved, but not at the cost of not loving myself. I want to know everything, but realize that nothing can ever be known for sure. I believe that nothing is absolute, but I can absolutely defend my beliefs. I understand that chance is prevalent in all aspects of life, but never leave anything important to chance. I am skeptical about everything, but realistic in the face of my skepticism. I base everything on probability, but so does obably.
to make the background story do more work for him, the writer could plant more indicators of his positive qualities and characteristics in the early part of the essay. . For example, he could mention how he used his oral fuller communication skills to communicate with his design team and supervisors, so that the admissions committee knows he feels that mastery of oral communication skills is important. The last paragraph is where the applicant draws together his themes with his self-assessment and goals. . he should mention what his masters degree. . This writer commits the common error of throwing in the name of the school receiving this statement as a token. . Any law school program could fill that place. . The writer doesnt appear to have done research about the law program at nyu. . does the applicant feel that being in New York city will put him in contact with East coast technology specialists who will give him an edge up in his career? . Or, is the applicant focusing upon nyu because of their strength in intellectual property law?
This writer has also composed the statement so that he comes across as an authoritative, competent, thoughtful, and honest leader. This statement helped earn the applicant acceptance to nyu and Columbia law Schools. Whats Wrong: This essay is too focused on the details of the story and fails to give sufficient evidence for why this person is a good candidate for law school. . This essay is structured as a personal narrative, and the topic is the applicants professional experience. . The first paragraph shredder is well written but is wholly descriptive prose that has very little to do with why this person is a good candidate for law school. . The first paragraph lacks a thesis or a direction for the essay. . Ideally, the reader should find a microcosm of the essay in the first paragraph. The second-to-last paragraph packs in the most value to the admissions committee for the space used, but the background story is important for this paragraph to be so powerful. .
This statement will inspire members of the admissions committee to act on the applicants behalf because he has successfully reached beyond the safety net of college. This applicant demonstrated his strong written communication skills by writing a compelling statement that uses several kinds of rhetorical appeals. . Logic is used to show how his analytical ability helps to keep the company afloat in the same waters where others have foundered. . he uses touches of pathos when he describes the primordial soup of intellectual invention inside the cramped office. . The analogy in which he compares his small start-up and the industry leader to david and Goliath uses both pathos and mythos to excellent effect: The story is one everyone knows, and so just by invoking the names, the writer brings a powerful story into. This mythic story becomes a theme woven throughout the essay. . It is a rhetorical device that establishes a connection in the readers mind between this candidate and david, a leader known for his compassionate ethos.
Our writers will gladly tell you how to start a personal statement
At this juncture in my life, i seek more challenge and personal growth in a field that calls on my written skills, attention to detail, and love of technology. My background in nano-technology will bring a unique perspective to the nyu classroom and will make me extremely marketable upon graduation. By pursuing a law degree, i intend to enter a profession that aligns with the interests and aptitudes I have discovered and developed through real work experience. It is through deep personal reflection write that I have decided that law is the natural extension of my training, personality, and talents. Commentary 1: Silicon Valley start-Up Structure: Personal Narrative topic: Internet Start-Up Thesis: I led a multi-million dollar design team; I can succeed in law school. Elements of Style: Comparison to david goliath Committee appeal: Tangible Impact, real World Experience, pro-Active starter, good leader Success essay Rating: A/9 Whats Strong: This is an excellent personal statement because it shows this candidate has had a tangible impact on organizations, and probably on the. The statement keeps the reader engaged by giving a meaningful story with background, context, conflict, and resolution. .
It also provides a peek into the mysterious and increasingly legendary world of Silicon Valley start-ups. . This is a good model for someone who has been out of college for a while, but who hasnt been working in a law firm. . The essay is focused on career goals, with career history to back up the writers plans. . This person is a doer, not a dreamer. . The writer shows a depth of technical knowledge and strong analytic reasoning skills that go far beyond linear thinking, especially in the description of finding new solutions to highly technical problems that do not violate patents. . The statement creates desire in the admissions committee to admit this person because other companies seek to hire the applicant and venture capitalists are willing to support the applicant with substantial funds. .
One posting was my recent workings of a carbon nano-tube electro-mechanical configuration bit, an idea that a co-worker and I had developed that I would write up and the company would push through the patent process. By packing a dozen well-caffeinated physics and electronics geniuses into a pathetic three-room rental that resembled a low-budget movie studio, we had created the primordial soup of intellectual invention. As a result of our collective ideas, our seasoned team, our innovative ideas, and nano-technology being the latest buzzword in investment, we were soon funded by venture capitalists for 10 million. It was immensely exciting to be the tenth employee in a growing start-up company that would have to upgrade offices and dramatically expand staff in an up-scaling war against the industry titan. The increased design responsibility and unbounded architectural creativity that comes with working for a start-up is unparalleled. However, the necessity of sidestepping our competitors patented intellectual property, which covered all aspects of our design, from manufacturing to testing, placed a heavy burden on the design team.
This danger was extremely real, as a similar start-up had collapsed following an infringement lawsuit related to unauthorized reproduction of a bit stream. As the designer of three different components, i examined our competitions sixteen patents related to the memory aspect of the device. . It was immensely satisfying to study, absorb, and then circumvent patent claims as I designed a conceptually similar but un-patented version of three memory blocks. I am interested in serving as general counsel for a corporation focused on advanced semiconductor technology. My diverse work experience and masters degree provide a perfect foundation to tackle the issues faced by a general counsel. I am drawn to the challenges I will find at the intersection of intellectual property, product liability, and corporate law.
Not sure how to start your personal statement?
I was lucky enough to join that company late in the game and sell my stock options early, but many others spent a significant portion of their career at a company that came close to glory but ultimately fell short: Goliath 1, david. This time they were telling me it was going to be different; they were always saying word this time would be different. I asked them how a small, poorly funded start-up company could go against a giant corporation, which was also the undisputed king of our market, with nearly 400 million in quarterly revenue. After signing a non-disclosure agreement, i was let in on the big secret, the meaning of the c in the company name: we were going to use recent innovations in carbon nano-tubes to revolutionize the industry. These nano-scopic cylindrical fibers that allow unparalleled circuit density would be davids tiny, secret sling. With the financial incentive of stock options and the confidence gained by working with a crack technical team, everyone was working at full capacity. There were scribbled drawings with names and dates taped up on a wall. These were the jotted ideas from our team of electrical engineers and physicists with. Degrees from schools like harvard, Stanford, and.
Every keystroke shook the flimsy foldout card table that served as my desk, on loan to the company from another employees garage. We were packed in the largest of three rooms in a 2,500 square foot space baking in the heat generated by ten co-workers in close quarters, fifteen running computers, and an abnormally warm summer. On the glass doorway was etched the ghostly lettering of the former company occupying better the space, serving as a grim reminder of the ever-present possibility of failure. Two weeks earlier, i had been in my companys small conference room sitting at the table surrounded by familiar faces from my last employer. Silicon Valley is incestuous: teams migrate from one company to the next, so i was not surprised to find myself recruited to join my old bosss newest project. They were selling another david versus Goliath story, featuring a small rag-tag team of engineers defeating a seemingly insurmountable industry leader. Despite my skepticism, i still had a free-running imagination fed with nostalgic thoughts of Bill Hewlett and dave packard working on their first audio oscillator in a palo Alto garage. But at my last start-up company, we had challenged a corporation for a piece of the industry pie, and nine years and 330 million dollars later, the company was a hollow shell doing mostly engineering contractor work.
Industry, russian Grandfather, chapter 11: overcoming Adversity (Topic kenyan Immigrant. Gordie day, surviving Rape, parental Disability, chapter 12: diversity candidates (Topic). Resisting the label Muslim, muumuus and moving On, hurricane katrina. Autism, first to Attend College, chapter 13: Chronological Growth (Topic high-Stakes Law Experience. Uganda and Cambodia, uk study Abroad, delmarva shorebirds. Chapter 14: The mentor (Topic) Debate skills Korean American Below are 2 of the 31 Personal Statement Samples Sample personal Statement 1 - silicon Valley start-Up Eighteen months ago, i was sitting at my computer, wedged between a dripping coffee maker to my left and.
It requires a lot of effort and thought to write a personal statement that effectively captures your greatest qualities and stands out to admissions committees. While we have an entire article on writing personal statements, one of the best ways to assist and inspire your writing is reading and learning from several personal statement samples. Although writing personal statements requires that you reflect upon what is unique and exemplary about your background, the following personal statement samples will provide insight into how other applicants have successfully crafted their statement. Below you can find 31 personal statement examples found in the. Tls guide to personal Statements book, which has sections on why these personal statement samples are strong and also how they could have been improved upon. More personal statement samples can be found in the personal statement forum. See the following articles for more information: 31 Example personal Statements, chapater 8: The resume personal Narrative (Structure silicon Valley start-Up.
How to start a personal statement
This site is dedicated to helping you with your application for admission to a university. In particular, it will enable you to: Understand what a statement of Purpose (SoP). Understand what universities expect when they ask for. Statement of Purpose, use guidelines to write your own unique, winning. Statements of Purpose and similar essays. On this essays site, we have tried to take the intimidation out of the essay-writing process by providing step-by-step guidelines that we and our friends found useful in our own application processes. While we concentrate on Statements of Purpose for graduate schools, this site will also be of some use to undergraduate applicants and to those writing essays as part of the application process. Recent Blog Posts, copyright m, all Rights Reserved.